08 Jan Kick-ass Words and Kick-ass Clothes

One of my 2015 goals is to be more organized with my work (ha ha).

I usually start prepping for an author event…a few days before. Then everyone in my house must endure my freaking out / panic / all-nighter writing, interspersed with a frantic need for lots of sugar (cake) and caffeine (Diet Coke) to get me through. With a bit of yelling at innocent children followed by bouts of crying as I wallow in guilt at being such a crap mother.

Sad fact is, I’m useless at public speaking without lots of notes and lots of practise – which makes no sense then that I would constantly leave my speeches to the last minute.

BUT this year is going to be different. Dammit. This year I’m going to be one of those smooth, capable and confident women who have speeches written MONTHS in advance. And can say them without looking at any notes, without getting so sweaty nervous that their glasses fog up and then they cant see anything anyway. Women who can rap and riff and pontificate with eloquence and wit and winning self-deprecation. Or, when the situation requires, they can deliver rousing, impassioned powerful words that make people cry, or shout, or do cartwheels.

Women who can back up their kickass words with kickass outfits. Women who dont have to raid their big sister’s wardrobe to borrow, beg and steal her fabulous work clothes. They have co-ordinated ensembles in their closets, always ironed, always ready to wear for any and every speaking event outside their hermit caves. And of course those outfits will always be clothes that actually fit. Not ofu’s that one buys because they look good on the store poster AND THEY MIGHT FIT ONE DAY. #everHopeful. Not that I do this…ever. Oh no. Not me.

In line with my goal to transform into this well-dressed, well-spoken author and public speaker, I resolved to stop eating cake and donuts which could help those ofu’s fit better. And to start NOW, writing my words for my March Utah trip.

Because on March 12th, I’m giving a lecture at the Salt Lake Community College, for Women’s History Month, about: “Celebrating a Woman’s Worth.”

Then Im visiting the Pacific Heritage Charter School on the 13th and Mana Academy on the 17th, where I will probably have to say some words. That cant sound dumb. That cant be about donuts or rugby player abs or why I like Eminem.

On March 14th Im doing a Talanoa Series to talk about writer stuff and also about Preventing Abuse in our Pasifika communities.

And March 18th Im giving the keynote address at the SLC Pacific Islander High School Teachers Conference.

That’s kind of a lot of words.

So I started writing my speeches. A week later and this is what I have so far.


Zip. Nada. Nuffing.

A week later and I’m thinking that I really need some cake. And donuts. Maybe thats why the words arent making an appearance?

Or maybe, wonderful words only ever come to me when I have 48hrs left before I get up in front of an audience? Maybe wonderful words are only borne of panic, fear, desperation and desolation?

Ohmagosh Utah is gonna hate me.

  • Anonymous

    No worries… Looking forward to your trip to Utah, you will be a phenomenal speaker. You will do great just like your books

    January 9, 2015 at 1:46 am
  • penny craig

    say a prayer it will come to you eventually….

    January 9, 2015 at 2:25 am
  • Anonymous

    i love this! i have a talk to give in honolulu in april, and have started making notes now, too…but have all the same anxieties as you, without the advantage of an older sister with a wardrobe i can raid and without the desire for cake or donuts or caffeine. (i’m still overweight though, so it must be the taro. never gonna give that up. lol.) you’ll be wonderful, lani. utah is going to love you hard. all the best for 2015!

    January 9, 2015 at 3:29 am
  • Vina

    You’ll do great Lani! I am so excited you’re coming to Utah. W’ll bring you up cookies and diet coke and everything yummy under the sun to calm your nerves 🙂

    February 2, 2015 at 11:14 pm

Post a Comment