08 Aug My Brother is better than Your Brother. Eh Dammit.

He’s the kind of big brother who takes you to lunch – so he can firmly (but kindly) tell you off about your overabundance of social media posts about Sonny Bill Williams. ‘What will your kids think when they read that one day?! Whats wrong with you? Eh, dammit.’

He’s the big brother who’s office you walk by hopefully when you’re at high school and on your way home – because he just might come outside and give you some money for ice cream. Or fries from Isa’s.

He’s the brother who wears the cool’est clothes and listened to the best’est music when you were a kid. The brother who could dance like no other, who all your friends thought was handsome and fabulous. The brother who wore spiked wristbands and floral Bermuda shorts and t.shirts that said DA MAN.

He’s the brother who – when you’re a new mum and trying to take your 3yro AND your newborn to church by yourself because your husband doesn’t go – stands outside your house and says real loud, “Give me the baby. I’ll hold her. You go get ready for church. Eh. Dammit.” Then he makes an effort to go to church with you (even if he doesn’t want to) so he can hold your baby while you go to Sunday School class. Because he knows that you’re on the edge of  quitting church altogether until your kids grow up and move out.

He’s the brother who lets you stay with him when you first leave home and go away to university and he wont let you do any cooking or housecleaning because he says, “Your priority is your schoolwork. I don’t want you to use chores as an excuse for failing and losing your scholarship. Eh. Dammit.”

He’s the brother who takes you out to the cool’est nightclub in town when you first leave home and go stay with him. And the next week grounds you for a month because you come home 20min after your curfew.

He’s the brother who looks after your second mum. Buys her groceries, checks her cashpower, takes her toonai every Sunday and sits with her, updating her on all his siblings while she cries and shakes her head.

He’s the brother who, when you get called to be Gospel Doctrine teacher, tells you “Don’t be too fiapoto. Don’t be all fia intellectual with your class. Teach with the spirit. Eh. Dammit.” Then he makes the effort to come to church once in awhile and check out your class. And roll his eyes when people say stupid things.

He’s the brother who helps unemployed youth apply for jobs. Tutors them and helps them with their uni assignments. Celebrates their achievements when they graduate, when they get a job.

He’s the brother who lectures your children when you don’t and who reminds you that it’s cold at night in Savaii and your son needs something warm for the hostel.

He’s the brother who brings your family roast chicken and salad when your sick with hyperemesis and sunken in depression, who sets the table, dishes out the food and tells your kids off about forgetting to say prayer. “What’s wrong with you kids, can’t you see your mum is sick over there on the sofa?! Pray. Eh. Dammit.”

He’s the brother who contradicts you on Facebook and when random commenters tell him he shouldn’t, he says, “You don’t know anything. She’s my sister. Stay out of it.” Eh dammit.

He’s the brother you name your child after. Because you know you probably would have quit church and stayed home with your pack of little kids a long time ago, if it weren’t for him.

He’s the brother who wont let your Dad drive to the airport at night because your Dad is 76 and his eyesight isn’t what it used to be. So he cuts his paddling training short and stomps down to the parents house so he can take over the car keys. “I’m taking you to the airport. Eh. Dammit!”

He’s the brother who’s brave enough to #talkStraightUp to your parents and siblings. Who’s strong enough to ignore your mother when she needs to be ignored. Who’s calm and confident enough to hold himself removed from the sister-fighting-drama that you so often engage in. “You all need to just stop being stupid. Eh. Dammit.”

He’s the brother who brings you Diet Coke and a bag of Doritos when he hears about your miscarriage. You even get a hug. “Here you go. Are you alright? Eh.”

He’s the brother who turns fifty today. Happy birthday Cam. Thank you for being an awesome big brother and an even better Uncle to my Fab Five.

Bella said, ‘Your heart is filled with magic!”


  • Anonymous

    He sounds amazing!!

    August 9, 2015 at 2:07 am
  • kalani

    Love this. Brothers are the best!

    August 9, 2015 at 2:56 am
  • rapil

    Teary eyed.,your Bella is a sweetheart..blessed with awesome Bro.!

    August 9, 2015 at 7:32 am
  • Beautifully written! Happy 50th Birthday to your brother.

    August 11, 2015 at 9:24 am
  • kepalena

    he surely is the best brother anyone could have by the sounds of it….wow..happy birthday to your brother Lani. And thank you for the awesome posts you continue to share.

    August 11, 2015 at 10:38 am
  • nola

    Love it!!

    August 11, 2015 at 4:50 pm
  • I love this. Sounds exactly like my eldest brother who is all that way in Samoa while I am all the way here in Canberra,helpless and lost without him and his free car rides and yummy dinners and spontaneous ice cream dates and alwaya availabe credit card and free room and free alcohol and no-questions-asked excuses to my Mom to let me go out and the never expiring phone bills to his whingy,crybaby little sister. Brothers are the best !! You’re lucky you have yours Lani.

    August 20, 2015 at 8:59 pm
  • Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero. When you were growing up, did your brother greet you with a black eye or a hug?

    September 2, 2015 at 10:04 pm
    • admin

      No hugs. No black eyes either.

      September 8, 2015 at 5:57 pm

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