19 Jun Sex Conversations

So this is the kind of chat that occurs when you’re writing a romance novel. And you’ve been married for a kazillion years.

Me – “I need your help.”

Him – “With what?”

Me – “What’s it like having sex in the bushes?”

Him – “What?!!!!”

Me – “Scarlet and Jackson in my new book have sex at the plantation where its hot, dirty, sweaty and there’s lots of bugs. I’ve never had sex at the plantation. Got ideas how I can make it shamahzing?”

Him – “Why are you asking me for?” #befuddled

Me – “Because you had lots of sex before you met me and Im sure you had some out in the bushes somewhere.”

Him – “If I did, I cant remember any of it. Making love to you is the only sex worth remembering.”

Auuuuuuu! Nice one. #bonusPointsFor TheHotMan

Me – “Thats really sweet dahling, thank you. But seriously, I need some plantation-sex ideas.”

Him, exasperated – “But I dont have any!” Then he offers a sly suggestion, “We could go have sex in the bushes at a plantation somewhere. Y’know for book research purposes…”

Me – “Ewww yuck. Get real. Im not doing it in any forests or plantations with centipedes ready to bite me. Getting scratched by vaofefe. Sticks and leaves and dirt going where they shouldnt. Strangers creeping up on you.  Who in heck wants to have uncomfortable bushes sex when they can stay home and have perfectly fabulous sex in a bed? Ugh.”

Him – ” So why are you writing Jackson and Scarlet having sex at the plantation?”

Me – “Because its a romance novel and imaginary people have wild imaginary sex everywhere. Even in the bushes at the plantation.”

He doesnt look convinced so I add, “You wouldnt understand. You’re not a writer.”

Him – “You’re right. I’m not a writer. I do have lots of plantation sex ideas though. Guess I’ll just keep ’em to myself now…”

And with that enigmatic #HaHa thought, he walks away. Taking all his #plantationSex ideas with him.

Dammit.

(If you want to read the plantation sex chapter that eventually came about, then you’ll have to read Scarlet Secrets After reading Scarlet Lies first. Get them in ebook format from Amazon today.)

9 Comments
  • lima
    Reply

    you got me rolling on this one.

    June 20, 2015 at 2:24 am
  • Andy
    Reply

    I am so curious! I’ve tried asking my cousin from Tutuila but she wouldn’t go into detail. All she said was the couple may or may not take a little fala with them.

    June 20, 2015 at 2:39 am
  • rapil
    Reply

    Ahhh. Snickerdoodle,your hubby holding out..now Im curious .Haha. Can’t wait to read the Scarlett Secrets!

    June 20, 2015 at 5:58 am
  • Oloamanu Faulio
    Reply

    Fascinating when it comes to sex conversation everybody have ideas both based on experience and imagination.
    As you told your hubby he wasn’t a writer and that’s 99.9% of us in the same boat…lol
    Please I would like to be updated with responses.

    June 20, 2015 at 4:27 pm
  • Marie Miller
    Reply

    Curious minds wonder….hummm…Will wonderhusband share hidden plantation-sex-ideas….lol. Will he come thru and caveman Lani to the bushes???? too funny Lani.

    June 20, 2015 at 6:41 pm
  • That is hilarious!! At least he’ll entertain the idea of you writing sex scenes! My hubby just starts laughing when I tell him my young adult characters need to kiss and it’s taking me ages to get it right!

    June 21, 2015 at 2:55 am
    • Oloamanu Faulio
      Reply

      Hahaha. This is the only topic when someone tells you what he/she did you can almost believe everything. As a writer I guess everything you write about is based on imagination. True or false?

      June 21, 2015 at 10:54 am
  • Adida
    Reply

    So I asked my fafa cousin and she said it’s better than having sex on the beach where sand is everywhere but plantation hmmmmmmm se Malo Lani #BEST #Beast

    June 21, 2015 at 7:58 am
  • LOL the Hot Man is smart!! Very nice save 🙂 I have conversations with my hubby, but most are about physical fighting techniques but once I switch from YA to adult I’m sure sex conversations will pop up.

    June 21, 2015 at 4:57 pm

Post a Comment