22 Oct Why You Should Never Give Up. Even if you’re stuck in an abyss of Chocolate Sludge.

This is a story of endurance, perseverance, and the importance of NEVER GIVING UP. Even if it takes 22 years of trying. And failing.

A long time ago I ate a cookie and it was wonderful. A no-bake fudge oatmeal cookie. I wanted to eat that cookie again many times so I got the recipe which promised to be EASY and QUICK. Even total kitchen-derwits could make them. Supposedly. I tried it. Again. And again. I failed everytime. Instead of a wonderful fudge oatmeal cookie, I made chocolate oatmeal porridge instead. It was thick and sludgy and rather nasty.

I went away to university. I flatted with a fabulous girl called Anna. I tried making the Cookie again. And again. I failed everytime. More chocolate oatmeal porridge. It was getting expensive to pursue this Cookie dream. Especially since I was a poor struggling student trying to fund a Diet Coke habit. Poor Anna was tired of seeing pots sticky with crusted chocolate porridge. So I stopped trying.

I got married. I graduated. I moved back to Samoa. I had kids. Lots of them. I got brave enough to try again to make The Cookie. Failure. Again. Thankfully the children didnt mind eating chocolate porridge so it didnt go to waste. I made friends with super clever Mormon women from America who baked dinner rolls and made lasagna from scratch. They also made fudge oatmeal no-bake cookies – when they were in a rush and too tired to cook “properly”. Or they got their 9 year olds to make them because No Bake Fudge Oatmeal Cookies are SO easy that even a total kitchen-derwit can make them. I would eat their cookies and seethe with envy. These super clever women shared their Cookie recipes with me. Their tips on how to make it work. An awesome friend called Kristen even came over to my house so she could show me how to make them. Step by step.

I tried again. And again. Failure. Still. My children were growing up. They didnt like eating chocolate porridge anymore. Especially since they’d tried No-Bake Oatmeal Fudge Cookies at everybody else’s house – and they couldnt understand why I kept making them sludge. I was becoming the Oatmeal Sludge joke. Every time the subject came up, my children laughed uproariously as they reminisced about my many dismal attempts. Each laugh and taunt cut into my Oatmeal Fudge Cookie dreams.

So I quit trying. For a while.

But the dream never quite died. Of making that perfect No-Bake Fudge Oatmeal Cookie that would crumble and melt in your mouth.

Yesterday, while surfing Pinterest for recipes for Bellas birthday party – I saw a picture of The Cookie. Immediately I was caught in a web of delightful concoted imagining… Me. In my new kitchen. Making The Cookie. And it works. Because I am older and wiser and I’VE RAISED FIVE KIDS AND WRITTEN NINE BOOKS AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE A FUDGE OATMEAL COOKIE DAMMIT TO HELL!!

The fire was re-lit and tonight, I once again, attempted the impossible. After years of trying and failing, after countless times wallowing in the chocolate sludge-filled abyss of defeat – I did it.

I made No-Bake Fudge Oatmeal Cookies – AND THEY WORKED!!!!

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They feather-crumbled upon the first bite and melted in your mouth. They were just as wonderful as that very first Cookie I tasted 22 years ago. Sweet bliss.

Immediately I messaged my Big Kids in NZ so they could share in my triumph. (And yes, so I could show off and make them regret ever doubting me and ever mocking me. Ha.) “This is historic stuff,” I said. “Its right up there with climbing Mt Everest and inventing the Post-It. This is an example of how important it is to never give up on your dreams, see!? Even when others dont believe in you and when people mock you. You must fight on…blah blah.”

Big Son said “Thats awesome.”

Big Daughter said “Yay.”

Ok. I was sort of hoping more for – OHMIFREAKING-HECK THATS AMAZING! YOURE SO CLEVER! IM IN AWE OF YOU! YOU DID IT!! YOURE MY HERO!!!! I WANNA B JUST LIKE YOU AND FIGHT REAL HARD FOR ALL MY DREAMS NO MATTER WHAT!!!

But I guess, “Yay” was pretty good too.

Then they asked me the million dollar question. “What did you do different this time? How did you make it work?”

Ohmifreaking-heck. I have no clue. Same recipe as all the other kazillions of times. Same method. How did I make it work?

I dunno.

Im going to sit here and make myself sick eat Fudge Oatmeal Cookies while I try to figure it out.

Savoring every crumbly melty bite because it could take another 22 years before I get it right again.

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