13 Oct Birthday Warfare

Bella’s birthday is coming up this month and she’s going to have a party for the very first time ever. She’s excited.

And I’m excited.

Because I havent been a very good mother lately and this is my chance; to dig up my Martha Stewart hat and apron and really shine. Lock up the children’s XBox and go all out with unleashed creativity and craftiness for this one day of the year. Thus assuaging the #BadMother guilt. And ensuring I can be lazy for the other 364 days of the year. Cruising on the memories and photos of THE MOST SPLENDIFEROUS BIRTHDAY PARTY EVERRRR.

A long time ago when I was youthful, energetic and had way too much time on my hands – I would organize shamahzing parties for my children’s birthdays. Bella’s older siblings have had…

*An ocean themed ‘Under the Sea’ party complete with handmade glitter fish invitations, jelly boats made with oranges and afloat in gigantic punchbowls of blue jelly ocean, a whale cake, paddling pool AND every child got to use a net and catch a real live guppy fish from grampa’s pond to take home in a fish bowl mini aquarium. I stayed up all night baking and decorating the garage with sparkly ocean creatures suspended from the ceiling. Gave myself Mother Of The Year Award for that one.

*An alien themed ‘Out of this World’ party with slime chocolate pudding, Martian cupcakes, a rocket ship cake (that took me 3 different tries to get right), alien mask-making AND a Make An Alien activity where very patient volunteers (aunty Pele n David) allowed themselves to be totally wrapped in 20 rolls of toilet paper by screaming enthusiastic children – who then insisted on being chased by the attacking toilet paper aliens…

* A fun park birthday where we hired five different giant jumping castles / spaceship water slides and turned the backyard into a water adventure park. And yes I stayed up all night baking for that party too. Three different kinds of cupcake, fruit kebabs, a Princess cake and hand stamped crafts for the gift bags.

Bella’s had none of that. She’s turning seven and since I’m at home and officially a full-time parent dedicated to my children’s happiness 24-7, I have  no excuses. This party’s going to be awesome. (And by extension, I am going to be awesome! Because let’s face it, while it’s not all about me. A lot of it is.)

So I’ve already started browsing Pinterest for birthday theme ideas…cake creations…accessorized handmade invitations…themed games… handcrafted toys for the goodie gift bags… I feel tired just making a board for it all and pinning so many clever things. And truth be told, Im also feeling rather irritated by all these people that make such kickbutt splendid stuff for their kids birthdays. I mean, really? Dont you have anything better to do than dream up this stuff and make the rest of us look bad?!

But I persevere. Because I love my child and that’s what mums do. We make sure that when our child has a birthday party, that they get everything theyve ever dreamed of. Everything!

Then I ask Bella, “What kind of birthday party do you want? A pirate party? A fairy party? A superhero party? Maybe a mermaid party?” Yes! Pick mermaid, then I can recycle my Under the Sea crafty ideas…heh heh…#devious.

My daughter’s eyes light up. “I know, I want a Call of Duty birthday party!”

Call. Of. Duty.

As in the Xbox game that simulates infantry and combined arms warfare of WW2 and beyond. The game that’s not for kids but Bella’s really really good at playing it.

It’s official. I’m a dreadful mother.

Somehow I doubt that there’s any Pinterest boards devoted to 6yro girls sniper birthday cakes. Or ammo party favors.

I’m now working on Operation Tempt Bella with Barbie

Wish me luck.

4 Comments
  • Tish
    Reply
    October 13, 2014 at 8:42 pm
  • LUCK! I have never been that cleaver creative mom and I did home schooling stuff for years so there was no excuse. I never look at crafts for kids/holidays on pintrest if I want to feel bad about myself I cna just step on the scale, it’s faster.

    October 13, 2014 at 10:14 pm

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