30 Nov Church is Boring. I Hate It.

Bella is a reluctant churchgoer. Her attempts to stay home range from :

The Selfless
“I’m sick.” Dramatic (fake) cough. “I dont want to cough germs on the other children.”

The Lazy
“I’m so tired.” Flops on my bed wearily. “My legs dont have enough energy to carry me.”

The Dutiful Daughter
“My dada will be lonely at home by himself.” Earnest and beseeching. “I have to stay here so he wont be sad. You need me to look after you, right Dada?”

The Fashionista
“I got nuffing to wear!” Wailing. “That dress is ugly and hot. People will laugh at me with that dress.”

The Omen of Doom
“I had a bad dream that you lost me at church Mama.” Fearful and wide-eyed. “I was looking for you everywhere and it was soooo scary. I wanna stay home. Pleeeease dont make me go.”

The Straight-Talker.
“Church is boring. I hate it.” Arms folded and glaring belligerently.

The Theologian
“But Mama, why cant we just stay home and talk to Jesus?” Arms outstretched and questioning. “He’s in heaven. He can hear us anywhere y’know.” Muttering under her breath. “Jesus doesnt go to church…why do we have to…”

The Negotiator
“If I go to church, can we get ice-cream after?”

And my personal favorite,

The Offensive Defence
“Mama, you look squishy and lumpy.” Studies me with a critical eye. “If we stay home, then you dont have to wear that ugly dress.”

6 Comments
  • Haha. Bella is always a good source of entertainment, that’s for sure.

    November 30, 2014 at 2:39 am
    • daniel
      Reply

      and im with Bella; I hate church too. lol

      November 30, 2014 at 6:16 pm
  • daniel
    Reply

    love the squishy lumpy and ugly dress comments; some moms wouldn’t jus laugh those comments off; major time out time or permanent grounding would be lite punishment for some smart mouth little ones .. lol

    November 30, 2014 at 6:13 pm
  • Sabrina Whippy
    Reply

    Absolutely love the Thelogian excuse, Bella is soo hilarious & Amy has similar excuses…lol My son never complained when he was younger but Amy is completely opposite. She complains but once we are there she loves it & thanks me at the end for forcing her to go! We always go to the delicious Strawberry Farm for ice cream afterwards

    December 1, 2014 at 9:35 am
  • Mamari
    Reply

    oh snap. My bribe of chocolate croissants and sausage rolls before church kind of works…but as for the internalisation of values…well, um…not so’s you’d notice….!!

    December 4, 2014 at 6:39 am
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Her many tactics are impressive. You should be proud to have raised such a genius

    December 4, 2014 at 7:13 am

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