30 Nov Church is Boring. I Hate It.
Bella is a reluctant churchgoer. Her attempts to stay home range from :
“I’m sick.” Dramatic (fake) cough. “I dont want to cough germs on the other children.”
“I’m so tired.” Flops on my bed wearily. “My legs dont have enough energy to carry me.”
The Dutiful Daughter
“My dada will be lonely at home by himself.” Earnest and beseeching. “I have to stay here so he wont be sad. You need me to look after you, right Dada?”
“I got nuffing to wear!” Wailing. “That dress is ugly and hot. People will laugh at me with that dress.”
The Omen of Doom
“I had a bad dream that you lost me at church Mama.” Fearful and wide-eyed. “I was looking for you everywhere and it was soooo scary. I wanna stay home. Pleeeease dont make me go.”
“Church is boring. I hate it.” Arms folded and glaring belligerently.
“But Mama, why cant we just stay home and talk to Jesus?” Arms outstretched and questioning. “He’s in heaven. He can hear us anywhere y’know.” Muttering under her breath. “Jesus doesnt go to church…why do we have to…”
“If I go to church, can we get ice-cream after?”
And my personal favorite,
The Offensive Defence
“Mama, you look squishy and lumpy.” Studies me with a critical eye. “If we stay home, then you dont have to wear that ugly dress.”