25 Feb How You Know You’re a Failure as a Samoan Mother.
We’ve been back home for two years now, after three years living in New Zealand, so I can confidently tell you what makes you a #BadMother. According to the Samoan estimation of Bad Motherness.
You dont iron your children’s school uniforms and you dont make your children iron their school uniforms. Even worse, you DONT CARE that their uniforms are wrinkly.
How do I know this? A month after we got back, this happened.
Middle Daughter asked – Can we please get an iron that actually works?
I said – Why? This one works sometimes.
This is where I explain that I believe ironing is overrated. And wrinkly clothes are not the end of the world.
She said – Because my teacher will put me on detention if I keep wearing a wrinkly uniform.
I said – Thats ridiculous! Thats not in the school rules! Im going to write a letter of complaint. You go to school to learn, not to wear nonwrinkly clothes.
She said – Please dont. Im just going to iron my uniform every night.
I said – NO. As a matter of principle, i forbid you to iron your uniform. I will tell your teacher its my fault.
She said – The teacher already knows. When she saw my wrinkly uniform, she asked me why didnt my mother iron it?
I said – Why didnt she ask about your Dad ironing your uniform? You should tell your teacher that ironing is not a requirement for being a mother. Or a woman. And its sexist of her to expect your mum to be ironing uniforms.
She rolled her eyes at me. – Whatever Mum. Like I want to get into a debate with my teacher over feminism and man jobs and woman jobs. Even my friends ask me how come my mum doesnt iron my uniform? Not everybodys house is like ours. And not everybodys mum is like you.
because other peoples mums either iron their kids uniforms. Or actually care about ironing and making their kids iron their uniforms.
There you have it. (As if we needed reminding.) I am not like other people’s mums.
And if youre thinking of moving to Samoa and sending your kids to school here?
Iron their uniforms first. Or you too will join me in the loser mothers club.