27 May Does Your Kid know how to Sell Stuff by the Road? Mine Neither.

Those pumpkins I told you about? They’ve multiplied. They’re taking over the world that is my wilderness front yard, having lots of pumpkin sex and popping out lots of pumpkin babies. We picked eighteen honey-gold ripe pumpkins yesterday. How in hell are we going to eat eighteen pumpkins I ask you?

Staring at piles of pumpkins (and not getting excited about eating pumpkin soup) – gave me an idea. I told Bella how me and my siblings used to sell stuff by the roadside when we were kids.

We sold my Big Sister’s clothes and high heeled shoes when she went away to college. All the workers in the University kitchen up the road had a ball buying her abandoned possessions. Never mind that my poor sister hadn’t wanted her precious treasures sold.

My Number One little sister sold moso’oi coconut oil – that she’d had the patient gardener make. Peka dried the copra on a woven mat in front of her house. Sio made the oil from it. Then he climbed the moso’oi tree and picked golden flowers to soak in the bottles of oil. When the oil was fragrant with moso’oi, then my sister would instruct him to carry a table to the road so she could sell Coke bottles full of perfumed oil. And keep the money. Everybody marvelled at her entrepreneurial spirit. (Otherwise known as her talent for exploiting the local labor force.)

My Number Two little sister tried to sell assorted books and knick-knacks. She offered my little brother five dollars to carry a table and all her (rubbish) knick-knacks to the road so she could sell them. Then she only made five dollars. My brother was happy. Clearly Number Two little sister did not have a very good entrepreneurial spirit.

Sometimes we sold pieces of Peka’s chocolate cake. Or mangoes and passionfruit from yards that weren’t ours. Sometimes we tried to sell ripe crab apples that we’d picked from the trees across the road from our house. Funnily enough, nobody wanted to buy any. Probably because they could walk across the road and pick up a handful of (free) ripe crab apples off the ground.

Ahhh the memories! Yes, my siblings and I had lots of experience with operating roadside stalls during our childhood. I suggested to Bella that she sell pumpkins by the road. Her face lit up. “I could get plenty money!”

Hmm, possibly. “What would you do with it?”

“Save it so our family can go on a holiday to the Gold Coast,” she said.”

I don’t think eighteen pumpkins are going to take us to the Gold Coast, BUT it’s a start! Plus I figured, this was an excellent opportunity for my children to get some entrepreneurial and moneymaking (and saving) experience.

Then Bella turned to her Dad. “You have to build me a little shop by the road. So I can sell pumpkins.”

Bella’s Dad didn’t look very enthused.

“You don’t need a shop. All you need is a table to put pumpkins on,” I said.

Bella frowned. “But the sun is very hot.” The light of an idea. “Aha, I know. Dad you can just make me a roof so the sun won’t burn me. I can sit under it.”

Bella’s Dad glared. At me. The woman responsible for the pumpkin-stall idea in the first place. “I’m busy Bella. I can’t build you a roof.”

Bella thought very hard for a few minutes. Then another bright idea. “I can sit under the umbrella!” She turned to her big sister. “You can hold the umbrella for me so then I can sell pumpkins. It will be so fun. I’m gonna go make a sign.”

Bella’s sister didn’t look happy about holding umbrellas and selling pumpkins by the roadside. Perhaps it’s uncool in her teenage world to be shading one’s little sister from the sun and watching her sell garden produce? “No thanks, I don’t want to help. I have lots of homework,” she said.

Bella wasn’t discouraged. “Alright. I will do a stall by myself.”

Bella’s Dad wasn’t happy. “I don’t want my seven year old standing at the road by herself. What if somebody steals her? Or runs her over? She needs an  adult with her.” Then he went to work. Because of course he was too busy to go stand by the road with his child. Because he had to earn money so we didn’t have to eat pumpkins for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Which left just me. Awww hell no! I got lots of very important things to do besides pumpkin selling. Like finishing my book. Like looking for more Jason Momoa pics to aid in the finishing of my book…y’know how it is. #BusyBusyBusy

I said, “Bella! It’s too hot to sell pumpkins by the road. I have a better idea. Why don’t you go play X-Box? Leave these pumpkins for another time…”

The child was easily distracted and disappeared to play Minecraft. That whole ‘teach your child to be an entrepreneur and money maker and money-saver’ thing is SO overrated anyway.

But if you want to buy a pumpkin for five dollars? Please come over.

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